Smart2Smarter

Is 2012 the Year for High Achievers to Embrace Their Humanity?

In my first two blogs on high achievers, Why High Achievers Flounder and Comfort Zones of High Achievers I talked about how SMARTER workplaces create a culture and emotional climate that inspires high achievers to continually grow as professionals. The last two blogs Six Step Plan for High Achievers, and Four More SMARTER tips for High Achievers, I discussed the need for high achievers to embrace humility and patience: to be willing to exhibit vulnerability and humanity.

Humanity is the gateway to a “reciprocal achievement” culture. When you Google ‘humanity’, several definitions emerge. The definition below is one I embrace:

The psychological characteristics that all normal humans have in common: It is the concept that there is a set of inherent distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting. This includes the emotional and social characteristics of compassion, altruism, or similar positive aspects of human nature along with aggression, fear, or similar negative aspects.

To sustain high achievement, you need to be continually learning and growing, in spite of uncertainty and anxiety. You need to ask for, and receive, feedback. As a leadership coach, I utilize Marshall Goldsmith’s method of feed forward. Instead of rehashing a past that cannot be changed (feedback), Marshall Goldsmith and Jon Katzenbach coined “feedforward” to encourage spending time creating a future. The act of “feed forward” by high achievers is a display of their humanity. Leading with humanity is finding and doing the right things, in the right way, with the right time frame. It requires leaders to develop the capacity for executive wisdom and the ability to deploy it. It requires that they both see and pursue the development the essence of humanity – virtue in their own characters.

“Leaders routinely face situations for which they have no rules to guide them and all too often for which they have little or no knowledge. In these circumstances, they are always anxious and face incredible pressures to behave badly because they more often do not know what they do not know. Almost nothing is more difficult, anxiety arousing, and humiliating than for a leader to admit that he or she does not know the right thing to do.”

~ Richard R. Kilburg, Executive Wisdom: Coaching and the Emergence of Virtuous Leaders, APA, 2006

Leading with humanity takes wisdom, virtue and practice, a determined spirit and the courage to ask for help. My next blog will focus on empathy in the workplace as it fits well with the emphasis on humanity at work.

So, how can you display more of your humanity in your workplace? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Four SMARTER Tips for High Achievers

In my first two blogs on high achievers, Why High Achievers Flounder and Comfort Zones of High Achievers I talked about how SMARTER workplaces create a culture and emotional climate that inspires high achievers to continually grow as professionals. In this blog, I will discuss the next four steps you or a high achiever you know can take to bring your humanity into the workplace.

The previous blog, Six Step Plan for High Achievers, I discussed the first two steps for high achievers to bring out the “greatness” of self and others.

Step one was to forget your past achievements – and failures – to concentrate on what’s needed next. Step two is to develop a support network of peers, mentors, and a coach and start asking for feedback.

When you hear recurrent themes, you know that either you’re doing something amiss, or you need to manage the perceptions people have of you. Either way, you can’t know without asking. Sometimes, however, you need to create trust before people will help you. One of Stephen R. Covey’s suggestions in his bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to think “Win/Win.” Covey insists that trust is the essence of Win/Win, or what I refer to as the art of reciprocity. “Without trust we lack the credibility for open, mutual learning and communication… The Win/Win [high-trust approach] is the ideal springboard for tremendous synergy… It eliminates the negative energy normally focused on differences in personality and position and creates a positive cooperative energy” (1989, pp. 220-221). The third step is about reciprocity and trust.

1. Become approachable in a high-achiever way: Learn to ask questions. Doing so doesn’t imply you’re ignorant, as long as you phrase them correctly. Let people know you’re trying to explore different perspectives and that you’d like to learn their opinions or thoughts.
   Share “idea or task try outs” with others. When you acknowledge uncertainty or own your mistakes, you’re showing your humanity. Others see you as approachable and trustworthy. When you open up to others, you become authentic- human. Others will reciprocate with their own stories, and the power of reciprocity is fueled.
2. Focus on the long term, but concentrate on next steps: Long-term goals require a willingness to be vulnerable, often moving out of your comfort zone. Challenge your fear traps and be open to not knowing everything all the time. Embrace just learning. Be willing to leave your comfort zone to take the small steps to the bigger goal.. Most long-term goals will encounter minor setbacks. Keep your eye on the prize, and give yourself a few “mulligans” along the road to greatness.
3. Adopt a positive mindset: Recent studies reveal that a happy, positive mindset is a prerequisite for success — not its byproduct. And a positive mindset requires emotional mastery. Start with an appreciative mindset when starting a new project, job or relationship. Focus first on what’s good about it, what you appreciate about this experience. In Smart2Smarter, I discuss the difference between the Survive Path which focuses first on problems and mounting a defense, and the Thrive Path that focuses first on possibilities and creating an offense. Try framing an assignment as a challenge instead of a problem, and you open up the emotional brain to think calmly and creatively. When your boss gives you extra work, you have two choices: feel put upon and overloaded, or take satisfaction in knowing he/she trusts you to get the job done.
4. Embrace humility, practice and patience: To move your game to the next level or in a new direction, be willing to exhibit vulnerability and even humility. I think people often hesitate showing their humanity for fear people will see them as weak or incompetent. Au contraire, to not share mistakes and missteps means you may well risk coming across as an arrogant know-it-all. Professional growth takes practice and patience. Most of us need to move beyond our comfort zones to enjoy continued success.

For more about these steps, I suggest the book Flying without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success, by Thomas J. Delong, Harvard Business Review Press, 2011. For more tips on reciprocity, emotional mastery and resilience I suggest the book Smart2Smarter: Coaching Guide for Smart People to Bring Humanity into the Workplace (2011) or visit smart2smarter.com. My next blog will explore the power of character and wisdom in achieving greatness.

What other steps have worked for you when facing setbacks to achieve greatness? Would love to hear your ideas or feel free to contact me direct.

In my previous two blogs, Why High Achievers Flounder and Comfort Zones of High Achievers talked about how SMARTER workplaces create a culture and emotional climate that inspires high achievers to continually grow as professionals. I encounter high-achievers frequently in my coaching work and when training future coaches. This blog will discuss a six step plan for high achievers to bring out the “greatness” of self and other.

The very strengths that led you to the fast track can steer you toward poor performance. This is a paradox that can be perplexing to high-achievers. Quite frankly, I don’t see how anyone can overcome this strong pull without working with a trusted coach or mentor.

If you’ve fallen into a high-potential career stall, you’ll need to start working on a plan to get back on track for professional success. More than that, I recommend you strive to develop your SMARTER skills.

When designing a professional development plan, review these six steps which will start freeing yourself from traps:

1. Forget the past: How much are you basing your career decisions on past experiences, either good or bad? Most of us make irrational comparisons between a past bad experience and a current situation. We are notoriously poor predictors of our future emotional states.

Most of what we surmise about our past failures is circumstantial. Look at the past with a different perspective — one that takes into account randomness or luck. We are never in control of situations as much we think, and blaming — or crediting ourselves — is often irrational and inappropriate. Sure, we’ve accomplished a lot, and we’ve made mistakes. That was then; this is now. What counts is stepping up to learn new tasks and skills. An open mind — one that is willing to admit limitations, as well as strengths — means you’re available for new challenges. Too much reliance on the past will stifle your courage to “fail upward” and use missteps as learning opportunities for growth.

2. Develop and use your support network: When you pride yourself on being an independent self-starter, it’s difficult to ask for help. You tell yourself you don’t want to bother people unnecessarily. You may fear feedback because you just don’t want to hear, or the information does not align with “how you see yourself”. You may discount colleagues who do not “stroke an overinflated ego, or will not tell you what you want to hear. If so, you’re hurting your chances of stretching and growing. Instead, challenge yourself to ask respected individuals for regular feedback, even if it’s uncomfortable to hear. Ask these four questions:

• a. What do I do that annoys you or others?
• b. When does my behavior stall or block your greatness?
• c. What one tip would you give me to inspire you to reach higher?
• d. What’s been your experience getting good feedback to improve your performance? I’d love to hear from you.

In my article, Coaching Leaders to Change, I discuss Marshall Goldsmith’s model for behavioral coaching outlines a reliable process to help leaders achieve positive, measurable changes in themselves, their staff and their teams. Marshall’s Feed Forward tool is to provide you with suggestions for the future and to help you achieve a positive change in the behaviors selected by you. The Feed Forward Tool is especially suited to successful people. Successful people like getting ideas that are aimed at helping them achieve their goals.

My next SMARTER Workplace blog will detail the next four steps.

What has been your experience with giving feedback to high achievers? What other suggestions can you provide?

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.”
– Cynthia Kivland

In my previous blog, Why High Achievers Flounder, I talked about how SMARTER workplaces create a culture and emotional climate that inspires high achievers to continually grow as professionals. I encounter high-achievers frequently in my coaching work and when training future coaches.

You may recognize yourself as a high achiever. Or, perhaps you started out that way but have let yourself fade into the background. You play it safe, maybe even telling yourself that since you are “above the norm” you do not need to learn or risk more?
I understand that completely. When you’re used to having things come easily to you, it’s only natural to shy away from assignments that stretch your comfort zone and increase your personal vulnerability.

When you have a successful self-image to protect, you find yourself avoiding risk. Instead, many high achievers like yourself hunker down and lock themselves into routines at the expense of professional growth.

Trust me on this, it is possible to break this cycle and get back on track for career success. In fact, it’s not only possible — it’s essential if you want to flourish in top leadership roles. Understand that social intelligence is a key to career success and significance.

First, take a hard look at yourself. Identify any of the eight traps into which you’ve fallen. Which traps escalate your anxieties and cause you to engage in unproductive behaviors?

Next, adopt new practices that give you the courage to step out of your comfort zone. This isn’t easy, and it won’t happen overnight. Assess your Career Health, and then work with a coach, peer or trusted colleague to develop an action plan of behavioral change.

It’s a hard truth, but the talent and skills that got you “here” won’t take you “there.” Your best thinking may not be enough. As intelligent as you may be, you simply cannot know what you don’t know.

What do you think about comfort zones and high achievers in your workplace?